Volume 8 , Issue 46

A VISITOR'S GUIDE TO TULSA (OK)

VISITOR'S GUIDE TO TULSA

• 1. First you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is "TULL-SA" and it does not matter how people pronounce it in other places.
• 2. Tulsa has its own version of traffic rules. Never forget that downtown Tulsa is composed entirely of one way streets. The only way to get out of the center of town is to turn around and start over when you reach the river.
• 3. All directions start with, "Go down Memorial"
• 4. Memorial has no beginning and no end.
• 5. The 8:00am rush hour is from 6:30 to 9:30am. The 5:00pm rush hour is from 3:30 to 6:30pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
• 6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you cannot be from Tulsa. If you don't slow down at a yellow light, you are from Tulsa
• 7. Sapulpa Road can only be pronounced by a native, so do not attempt the phonetic pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare at you.
• 8. The falling of one snowflake causes all traffic to immediately cease. Fortunately all schools, businesses and city government close when the word snow is mentioned.
• 9. Construction on the Broken Arrow Expressway is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment. In fact, construction on the BA will not be completed in your lifetime.
• 10. Many bizarre sights can be explained simply by uttering the phrase, "Oh, we're in Brookside"
• 11. Construction crews aren't doing their job properly unless they close down all lanes except one during rush hour.
• 12. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it was probably left on at the factory where the car was made.
• 13. The only city where a church of 2,500 members is considered a small, but quaint church.
• 14. What you need to know when arriving at the Airport: Your arrival gate is at least 32 miles away from the Airport parking. Walking shoes are advised.
• 15. Never honk your horn at another car in traffic. Native Tulsans don't like that. The bumper sticker that reads, " keep honking, I'm reloading" is considered a fair warning.
• 16. Exit and entry ramps on the expressway are just the recommended way of entering and exiting, feel free to exit at any grassy point you wish. Everybody does.
• 17. 90% of drivers trying to make a left turn on Harvard, Yale, or Sheridan are actually attempting suicide. Stay out of their way.
• 18. Those orange traffic cones are considered by many citizens to be the designated "City Tree" of Tulsa. They are replaced, however, after nine or ten dents.
• 19. Remember that you may be rear-ended if you decide to yield at a "Yield" sign.
• 20. Be sure to take something with you to read while waiting in the 45 minute line at any of our convenient, efficiently run Post Offices.

I hope these hints help you enjoy your visit to Tulsa... Y'ALL COME BACK NOW, YA HEAR?" -- submitted by Roy
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