Volume 8 , Issue 31

An Oklahoma Blessing

"Note: If you are not a resident of OKLAHOMA or never have lived in the hot, humid South, you may not understand the weight of this blessing!

-Bless this house, oh Lord, we cry.
-Please keep it cool in mid-July.
-Bless the walls where termites dine,
-While ants and roaches march in time.
-Bless our yard where spiders pass
-Fire ant castles in the grass
-Bless the garage, a home to please
-Carpenter beetles, ticks and fleas.
-Bless the love bugs, two by two,
-the gnats and mosquitoes that feed on you.
-Millions of creatures that fly or crawl,
-in OKLAHOMA, LORD you've put them all!!
-But this is home, and here we'll stay,
-So thank you Lord, for insect spray.

HOLD IT.............there's more.........

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN OKLAHOMA IN JULY WHEN. . .
-The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
-The trees are whistling for the dogs.
-The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
-Hot water now comes out of both taps.
-You can make sun tea instantly.
-You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
-The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
-You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
-You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
-You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
-You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
-Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?
-You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
-The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
-Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
-The cows are giving evaporated milk.
-Ah, what a place to call home.
-God Bless Our State of OKLAHOMA!! Amen!!"
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