Volume 14 , Issue 1

100 Years of Our Dumb Headlines

11 December 1903 marks the day of our year of the dumb headlines with the following article: "Science Conquers Sky With Wright Bros. Flying Machine; Heaven Expedition Slated for Next Year. Historic Meeting between Roosevelt and St. Peter planned; President Preparing Speech. Citizens of Republic Eager to Visit Passed Relatives. Will Death Become A Thing of the Past?"

Washington, DC, Dec. 17 (1903) -- The supreme kingdom of heaven will be the domain of man next year, thanks to the scientific prowess of the Wright brothers of Ohio, who verified man's mastery of the skies at 9 a.m. today with their historic flight above the dunes of Kitty Hawk, North Carolina.

Possessing at last a heavier than air craft capable of lifting itself, and listing where directed by the able pilot, mankind will now be able to journey to God's fair abode, where the moral and philosophical conundrum which vex Earth dwellers amy be explained by the Creator himself.

The expedition is slated for June of next year. It is anticipated that when the craft reaches the kingdom, cherubim will sound majestic trumpets heralding man's return to the Creator.   |  View or Add Comments (0 Comments)   |   Receive updates ( subscribers)  |   Unsubscribe

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